July 4, 2008
Ian n Elanor sez
Elanor's eccentricities , Ian's idiosyncracies , deux bebes | By Tim and Jo | 12:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
July 3, 2008
Happy Fourth!
Yeah, yeah, I know it's the third.
But it's our fourth!
Four years ago today, we were at a big party.
For a brief moment, our communities collided, our past and present, friends and family, childhood, schools, churches, the North and the South.
It feels like this tangle of communities is a huge part of what marriage is about. My friends are his friends. His family is my family.
And then our communities literally collided in the festive mosh pit otherwise known as the Slovakian Bridal Dance.
This year, we've learned to know each other as parents. Though we had a couple of wiggly but self-contained sweet potatoes this time last year, this year we've had to wrestle with the realities and responsibilities of parenthood.
It's been hard at times, but it's also helped us to get to know each other at a deeper level, to work together as a team, and to realize more and more how dependent we are on God for getting through each and every day.
Jo , Tim , family | By Tim and Jo | 12:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
June 30, 2008
discipline
Ian's new skills have brought us into new realms of parenting. He can get into everything. Sometimes what he is trying to do is amazing, his combination of physical strength and problem-solving skills are mind-boggling at times. Sometimes, it's a day full of moving him across the living room away from the "no," and having to repeat that process ad nauseum. Elanor doesn't get as many no's because she's not nearly as mobile, and in general she can be redirected more quickly than he can.
So far, we've only set up a very limited number of no's, some of them of a more serious nature than others: don't touch the DVD player, don't turn over the living room table, don't pull your sister (or brother's--we've realized Elanor can be the silent but deadly instigator here) hair.
Jonathan's post really made me think through some thoughts that have been bubbling through my mind lately.
With pregnancy, there are variations, but most of the advice can apply to most pregnancies. Don't drink, smoke, etc., eat well, and so on.
When it comes to parenting advice, especially in regards to discipline, advice runs the gamut. From people we know in real life, to blogs I've visited, to parenting experts, there are so many conflicting voices. Plus some of the books by experts subtitle their works to indicate that this (and only this?) is parenting "God's way." Some say that you should "always" discipline this way. Others say you should "never" use this technique. And sometimes I feel like we're fumbling our way through the always and nevers trying to find what's best for our family.
The thing is, though, every parent is different, every child is different. Though there are principles that can be applied across the board, I don't think there will ever be one system that fits everyone into it. Already, we're seeing that Ian and Elanor have very different personalities, and that we'll have to handle them in different ways. It's hard, even when tone of voice and redirection are the main discipline tools we're using right now. It's trying to find the right tone of voice that shows I'm serious (no, this is not a game!) without breaking his heart. There are certain tones of voice I use that just crush his little spirit. I want an obedient child, not a squished one!
I really like this. About how it's too easy to idolize having the perfect family, and putting that in the place of Christ's work.
I also appreciate those who remind that the goal of discipline is part of discipleship. Not that punishment won't eventually be part of that, still thinking through all of that, but that discipling and training our kids is the focus, rather than punishing them.
And our old pastor's reminders that believing in the covenant, we have no place treating our kids as "vipers in diapers." He also said, right before our children were baptized, that apologizing to our kids when we make mistakes is one of the most powerful discipline tools we have, and that it's best to get a behavior to change using the gentlest means possible to accomplish that change--anything else is overkill.
And after a discouraging days of no's and redirecting, when I was greatly longing for immobile babies, I appreciated Tim's reminder that Ian's mad skillz aren't things to be discouraged about, they're things to rejoice in. He's growing up!
And, the other day, after telling him "no" as he crawled ever closer to the DVD player, he stopped, looked me in the eye, and turned around. I was astonished--he had a choice, and he used his will to make the right choice.
Thinking , deux bebes , family | By Tim and Jo | 11:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
June 27, 2008
Babies laugh
In case the sound of laughter might brighten up someone's day...
Elanor's eccentricities , Ian's idiosyncracies , deux bebes , funny , videoblogging | By Tim and Jo | 10:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
The Pacifier Swap
Remember this?
The pacifier games get more elaborate as time goes on. Sometimes we can't even keep track of whose is whose.
Elanor's eccentricities , Ian's idiosyncracies , deux bebes , funny , videoblogging | By Tim and Jo | 10:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I'm Not There
Yeah, so after reading Funke's mention of the movie, I remembered how curious I was about I'm Not There. We had wanted to see it in our local warehouse turned indy movie with beer and coffee place, but it just never worked out.
Which was just as well in the long run. Tim hated it.
It was postmodern almost to the point of incoherency at points. Five actors and an actress portraying the different dimensions of Dylan's life and work. I was intrigued by the idea of it, but often it seemed to break down under the weight of its own polyphony. At some points, there was just too much going on.
The thing is, we both like movies that play with narrative. And we both adore Dylan. But...
In some ways the movie presumes too much knowledge, and then just repeats that which most Dylan fans would already know. It takes whole sections of footage used in earlier documentaries (Don't Look Back and Scorsese's No Direction Home), and then just recreates them using the different actors/actress. There didn't seem to be much new insight into the events.
What I liked? Cate Blanchett as Dylan. Actually, I thought it would be my least favorite aspect of the movie. I thought using a woman to portray Dylan was just a publicity stunt. But she was perfect. Vulnerable, opaque, defensive, complicated, yet with a child-like translucency. I think the reasons it didn't bother me to have her play him (I honestly thought it would be too distracting to have a woman play Dylan) is first of all her stunning acting job, and secondly, the familiarity I have of the use of trouser roles in operas (think Mary Martin as Peter Pan).
I also really like the sections with a young African-American boy portraying Dylan. It wove together really great bits: the influence of blues and spirituals on Dylan, his fascination with music of earlier times, his made-up biography, even the metaphor of trains and travel that permeate his music.
The soundtrack was fabulous. It pretty much stayed away from the top-ten sort of Dylan songs, and used many of his more obscure but fascinating songs.
What I hated? Richard Gere as Dylan as a cowboy in some kind of surreal universe. Very weird, and didn't seem to fit . Dylan as a pentecostal preacher spewing out some civil religion nonsense that didn't seem very Dylanesque, but perhaps they used his actual words. Not too much on his conversion experience, which I would have loved to hear more about.
I liked Scorsese's film much better. And as I thought about it, it has its own polyphony, the defensive voice of the young Dylan contrasting with the older, thoughtful Dylan peering back at his life and interpreting what he sees.
Thinking , movies , music stuff | By Tim and Jo | 1:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)